Small Ways to Survive the Holidays

-Pet a puppy.

-Find a can or jar of something past its expiration date in your kitchen, and throw it away. Don't try to convince yourself of its use. Junk it. Don't look back.

-Read Donald Hall's Life Work. 

-Buy a new scarf in a ridiculous pattern.

-Apple cider + Leopold's Three Pins Alpine Herbal Liqueur + low heat + espresso-sized mug.

-Bring a live flower into your home whose shape and color scheme has absolutely nothing to do with Christmas. A yellow rose. A spray of purple tulips.

-Pick one calendar day between now and the end of the year and book yourself a cheap, comfort-food dinner out. Soup, bagel, happy-hour sushi, whatever. Every other day can get booked to the gills, but keep that dinner clear. Take a trashy magazine to read. Talk to no one.

-In DC? Go visit the trains at the U.S. Botanic Gardens.

-Select a large Ritz cracker. Smother with chunky peanut butter. Drizzle with honey, ideally issued from a bear-shaped container. Eat. Repeat.

-Two words: duckpin bowling.